whats the point in a blog?

the question that my boyfriend has just been asking to me and my friend, whats the point in a blog?
Personaly my blog is for expressing myself to myself or to anyone that is reading it, its a way of calming myself down and to put everything into perspective before i react, my last post was a perfect example of that as at that moment in time i was struggling and finding it really hard. the stress that seems to melt away when iv finnished writing whether im upset or generly really angry, it helps me.

....

I need somebody to talk to because i physically feel broken, appoligies for posting twice or possibly more by the way the evening is going but at this moment in time my feelings on the screen infront of me seem quite reasuring, is it sad that a inanimate object with my words on is setteling my soul? i really hoped my blog wouldnt get too emotional as its not really me to get upset, not the new me anyway, maybe its time to put my history onto paper? show how i gave myself a new life by fighting? but to me that would seem desperate as if i was seeking attention using the guilt trip of my past. i swear i could go on for hours here as each word apears im feeling better, using any subject to create a distraction. am i actually talking to myself or is someone actually out there reading this little snippet of my life at the moment, i wonder if they or you are smiling right now because the thought of someone actually reading this is making me smile a little bit, if i said thank you who would it be too but i really am, the throbbing of my heart and brain has numbed and feel relaxed, im happy with what i have wrote and dont feel a quote is needed.

I hope your happy!

The moment when your own sister turns to you and uses the phrase "im going off this family" litulary kills you inside. the pain as i walked out that room and thought to myself whats the point of even being here if all it seems im doing is sweet f a and having backs turned on me. I suspose it serves me right for caring, i hope you enjoy it while it lasts because right now you are abusing your friends and family and the rate your going no one will be there to catch you when you fall.

" i didn’t want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry"

worth it

A tonsillectomy has to be one of the most painfull operations i have ever had and actually made me wonder if it was actually worth it. 17 lots of tonsilitis in 2 years really was getting stupid but the pain i have had for the last four days really is taking the buiscuit :( more to the point i think im trying to say that doing somthing that is bad for the meantim will be better for the future, and i suspect thats the same with most things. all i have to remember is that it will improve my life after this pain finally disapears.

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can"

annoyed would be an understatement

I realise i have just posted but i feel the need for a rant about crtain people that really really hack me off. being on a level 3 course and having a lecturer that makes you feel like you are still in primary school really makes me wonder if i am actually considered the slightest bit capable of understanding general information. Her irrogence and ignorance and generally her is so mentally draining, that may sound so bloomin bad the fact that i am bitching but seriously not many people annoy me to a point where i can write a large paragraph on such an annoyance.

i cant find a suitable quote so i suspose this is the end of my post of my rant :)

Trying and failing

Despite all our hard work 3 of the baby mice passed away today, i thought loosing one was bad but 3 have kind of overwhelmed me, the feeling of all our efforts being in vain and the thoughts that i may have done somthing wrong keeps playing over and over in my head. The one little one that is left still seems strong and healthy but so did the others yesterday, the fact that this one may only have a limited time left is quite difficult to think about. death is like a torture to those that are left and those that have tried to help. 

"lives are like candles in the wind"

Wasn't ment to be

The smallest one of the baby mice passed away earlier and i can say i am utterly devistated, poor little thing just gave up the go. ah well still four little fighters left that will be getting massive amounts of love and care to give them the best chances in life.

"Being strong sometimes means being able to let go"

Still with us

The 5 little mice are still here and are getting even stronger which is not so great when trying to feed the little devils, they have also just really found their voice and are starting to get demanding about food. i currently have them sat next to me in their box each trying to get to the bottom of the heap where the most warmth is. hopefully in about 4 days they should start to open their eyes and become more independent, fingers crossed they make it that far.

"Everyday is a gift, that’s why they call it the present"

giving nature a hand

I supose things happen for a reason when it comes to mother nature but when a group of agricultural students come in to the equation things suddenly become very off balance, and this is why since friday me and my friend have been looking after 5 tiny mouse pups which we have been feeding every three hours, the fact that we have to decide who has them each night makes us seem like a disfunctional familly. Bizarly enough on the same night a newt turned up at my front door who had my very pleased looking cat sat behind it, a little spray of water and a night to recover ment that the following morning the newt was set on his way with a new found respect for cats. Then just to finnish off the weekend of animal antics me and my boyfriend found 5 newly hatched chicks freezing on the floor of the run where the mother must have left them sleeping, the lifeless chicks looked like they had no chance untill the aga became a life giver and brought 3 of the five chicks back from the brink and they are now snuggled up with the mum again. no matter how little sleep i get with any animal i will never give up on a single life, and i expect there will be many events such as the last three to come.... and i cant wait :)

"Happy are those who dream dreams and are ready to pay the price to make them come true"

No matter what

The moment when you think things are going wrong and it feels like your world has litulary come tumbling down around you has to be the worst feeling in the world. But before it starts to seem like this is going to turn into some depressed vent of emotion, it kind of made me realise just how much he means to me and the fact that loosing him scares me to death. A good old cry does the world of good untill you can rationalise and come to your sences in which you decide the outcome, and mine is no matter what happenes i will always love him <3

"the hardest thing you will ever learn is how to love and be loved in return"

Dear whoever

spontanious, interesting and possibly bizzare contents is what i believe my first blog should contain but right now im sitting here thinking, who on earth would possibly want to read somthing that is about nothing? which seems to be where this is heading. Its possible that the most interesting thing that is going to crop up is that one of my pet frogs is perched happily on top of my screen staring straight at me, probebly laughing to herself about the fact that im blabbing on about absolutly diddly squat. i might start by telling you about me..... a perfect example of who i am is the last paragraph, it may not seem like it but i have a brilliant imagination, when its not needed, as soon as it is, poooof. Im a complete animal nut, eccentric would probebly be the best word to describe me, but see for yourself. I expect my blog will probebly consist of random rants and possibly descusions with myself. oh and before i forget, i apologise for my spelling.

"You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough"